It Is Done

For the life of me, I have no idea what possessed me to sign up for the workshop part of the writing conference. I don't know what entices me to show my writing to anyone - ever. The Last Dance has never been read by anyone, but me, and there is some safety in knowing that. Of course, I should probably admit that I have never shown it to anyone because it is flawed, not greatly, just in general.

Although, I suppose, all of my other four novels are flawed as well and, yet, I have still shown those all to other people. Ugh... I should probably keep my writing to myself in the future.

Why all the angst?

Because today was the deadline to send in ten pages of my latest work. Along with ripping through my three synopses (that all serve a different purpose) yesterday, I also ripped apart those ten pages three different times in the course of the day...each time attacking the piece from a different angle. I targeted the cliches, altered the sentences where prepositions showed up at the end, reworked sections where I drop too much back story or where I detailed the everyday occurrences that ought not be detailed, etc, etc, etc.

In between editing, I purposefully did something else to stimulate my mind, to recharge it so I could tackle the work again. I watched a Finnish movie, read a chapter in an economics textbook, and listened to Duke Special on youtube.

And today, I printed copies and headed out into the rain, to go to one of my most hated places on earth - the post office. Once the postal worker received the strictly sized envelopes, I had my heart seize within me. I thought about climbing over the counter, stealing back my package, and running home to safety. But seeing as how the counter at the post office is as high as my chest and I had neglected to bring climbing ropes, I had to let it go. There is simply no going back now. It is done. What will be, will be.

The conference is in just a few weeks and I am very excited. I am going into this experience with the idea that I will be the least trained writer in the building. (Yes, I technically got my B.A. in a form of writing but broadcast writing and creative writing are completely different beasts.) I plan to go to learn and improve on the skills that I have cultivated in solitude over the last decade of practicing. And at the end of it, I might just take a long, peaceful, well-deserved nap.

My Day Today

Massaging

Editing

Ripping it to Shreds

Crying in a Dark Room

Adding a New Synopsis to the Stable of Synopses

Rewriting

Yanking Out Every Third Word

Reformatting

Polishing

Repeating the Cycle - From the Top

Synopsis Day

It was like ripping off a band-aid. I decided to just do it and get it over with so I could have something to work with. I threw some Laura Marling on youtube and pecked away at the task.

In the end it wasn't so bad. I wrote two synopsis' (or synopsi?) and a sample query. One synopsis is long (6 pages) and the other is short (1 page). Then I edited them, sent them to a reader who edited them for me again, then I went through them again and entered the changes into the computer draft.

Now, I have to sleep on it and see if the drafts look really frightening in the light of the new day tomorrow. With all of the rapid writing and editing, I've begun to lose my grasp on cliches, prepositions, and commas. Not that I had a particularly firm grasp to begin with....

By Wednesday morning, this part of the craziness will be all over. I have to submit the pages and call it good enough for now.

By Thursday, we will see if I have reverted to the fetal position or if I have gone into overdrive and finally attempted to tackle the long overdue editing for Kindley's Sorrows and Death and Life (formerly Heroine in Paradise).

I'm honestly not sure which path might show more sanity.

In a Whirl

Progress on Amelia Rider:

1. I am trying to work through my first ten pages for a workshop exercise. I've worked through a few problems and am now going on a cliche hunt. I plan to catch a few big ones.

2. Normally I would have left this manuscript alone for a while longer to let it (and me) sit. But I am trying to meet a deadline for a fast-approaching workshop and so I plunged back in a little sooner than I would have liked. It is always scary to reread something that isn't perfect (or near to it) and I am often appalled at some of my mistakes.

3. Three readers currently have some or all of my book and I always feel vulnerable when my writing is out to a reader. But feedback is really helpful for me so I have to push through the vulnerability and wade through the (often) constructive criticism.

4. I have to construct some query/synopsis sheets for my own information. I hate writing synopsis'. They are incredibly tricky. Let the record show that I would rather throw 75,000 words together in a narrative than write a single page synopsis.

5. Already putting red pen marks all over the first few paragraphs that I sent out to readers. Ugh! If I am finding this many errors and bumpy sentences then what are they finding?

Updates

First, I would like to say thank you to the people who offered to read my story for content. I really appreciate it!

Second, I spent the last week combing through the story again, ripping it to shreds. I do this every time I go through it. It has been said that a writer never really finishes a story, she just eventually abandons it. I'm obviously not ready to abandon this one, yet.

Third, I thought I would throw a little treat (in addition to the lunch I promised) to those who have read the story through for me. Below, in the post 'Amelia Rider in 23 Songs or Less', I gave a musical summary to the story.

***Note - Amelia Rider is a modern adaptation of The Mysteries of Udolpho, sans the mysteries***

I want to add another song (again this will only make sense to those who have read it) that describes Finley's thoughts from chapters 30 to 36. I simply cannot listen to the song White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons without hearing Finley's voice.

Take it away Mumford and Sons!

White Blank Page

Fourth, I signed up for my first, and perhaps only, writer's conference. I'm curious and excited.

Fifth, I am thinking about submitting a section of my story to an agent for feedback. (This is the curious side of my head speaking. The rest of me thinks this side is crazy, but I am letting the curious side have a little freedom today.)

However, I won't take that step lightly, so I wanted to ask for another favor. I need someone who can read the first ten pages and edit it for content, grammar, and punctuation. This is an elevated level of editing.

I tend to build my stories slowly so this can be a tricky section for me. I need someone who can give honest feedback. ('It's fine', especially if it isn't, isn't helpful.) And since it is just ten pages, I am open to help from someone local or someone distant. I'll just email a file. All my content readers get a free lunch for helping me and I will offer the same for this. I know I have some editor friends out there. Anyone up for the challenge?